Subject: I WAS HOME SCHOOLED...
Most of our
generation 50+ was
HOME SCHOOLED in many ways.
1. My mother taught me
TO APPRECIATE A JOB WELL DONE .
"If you're going to
kill each other, do it outside.
I just finished cleaning."
2. My mother taught me RELIGION.
"You better pray
that will come out of the carpet."
3. My father taught me about TIME TRAVEL.
"If you don't straighten up, I'm going to
knock
You into the middle of next week!"
4. My father taught me LOGIC.
" Because I said so,
that's why."
5. My mother taught me MORE LOGIC ..
"If you fall out of that swing and break
your neck,
You're not going to the store with me."
6. My mother taught me FORESIGHT.
"Make sure you wear clean underwear, in case
You're in an accident."
7. My father taught me IRONY.
"Keep crying,
And I'll give you something to cry about."
8. My mother taught me about the science
of OSMOSIS .
"Shut your mouth and
eat your supper."
9. My mother taught me about
CONTORTIONISM.
"Just you look at
that dirt on the back of your neck?"
10.. My mother taught me about STAMINA..
"You'll sit there
until all that spinach is gone."
11.. My mother taught me about WEATHER..
"This room of yours
looks as if a tornado went through it."
12.. My mother taught me about HYPOCRISY.
"If I told you once,
I've told you a million times.
Don't exaggerate!"
13.. My father taught me the CIRCLE OF
LIFE.
"I brought you into
this world, and I can take you out..."
14. My mother taught me about
BEHAVIOR MODIFICATION .
"Stop acting like
your father!"
15.. My mother taught me about ENVY.
"There are millions of less fortunate
children in
This world who don't have wonderful parents like you do."
16.. My mother taught me about
ANTICIPATION.
"Just wait until we
get home."
17.. My mother taught me about RECEIVING.
"You are going to
get it from your father
When you get home!"
18.. My mother taught me MEDICAL SCIENCE.
"If you don't stop
crossing your eyes,
They are going to get stuck that way."
19.. My mother taught me ESP.
"Put your sweater
on; don't you think I know
When you are cold?"
20. My father taught me HUMOR.
"When that lawn mower cuts off your toes,
Don't come running to me."
21.. My mother taught me
HOW TO BECOME AN ADULT .
"If you don't eat
your vegetables, you'll never grow up."
22.. My mother taught me GENETICS.
"You're just like
your father.."
23.. My mother taught me about my ROOTS.
"Shut that door
behind you.
Do you think you were born in a barn?"
24.. My mother taught me WISDOM.
"When you get to be
my age, you'll understand.
25.. My father taught me about JUSTICE .
"One day you'll have kids,
And I hope they turn out just like you !"
This was only sent to the over 50 crowd because
the younger ones would not believe we truly were told these "EXACT"
words by our parents