20 Secrets Your
Bank Teller Won’t Tell You
 20
Secrets Your Bank Teller Won’t Tell You
We talked to bank tellers, branch managers, and other banking
officials to find out more about the place where you keep your money.
By Neena Samuel
http://www.dinarrecaps.com/1/post/2013/08/20-bank-secrets-posted-at-stage2omega-saturday-pm.html
1. It takes us three days to post checks to your account.Just because you
deposited a check today doesn’t mean you can start living it up tomorrow.
(And why should we hurry? If you bounce a check, we collect around $30.)
2. Make sure you have the right loss and theft protection. If you’re using
your ATM card for debit transactions, ask your bank what kind of protection
it offers if the card is stolen or lost. Thousands of dollars could be pulled
from your checking account and, in many cases, you wouldn’t be nearly as
protected as you would be with a stolen credit card.
3. Beware of the universal default clause. Before you sign up for a
bank-issued credit card, ask if it has a “universal default clause”—also
known as “the ultimate poison clause in credit cards.” If it does, run for
the nearest exit. It allows the bank to look through all your credit
accounts, and if it sees that you’re late paying a bill on another card, it
gets to jack up the interest rate on its card.
4. Online banking......is pretty safe, but it could be better, according
to researchers at the University of Michigan. They studied 214
financial-institution websites and found design flaws in 76 percent of them,
including banks redirecting users to less-secure sites.
5. Not everyone is allowed to do a teller’s job. Yes, we know the line is
long and only one teller window is open, but no, the guy in the cubicle can’t
come over to help out.
6. Call or visit in person to resolve a problem. Filling out online forms
will usually get you the by-the-book reply, but a rep will often forgive a
fee over the phone so we can all just get on with our lives.
7. We know you hate itemized penalties. A consumer’s brain registers an
immediate “Ouch!” whenever he’s hit with an itemized penalty, such as a
bounced-check fee, so most people keep a much higher balance in their
checking accounts than necessary, says personal-finance writer Jason Zweig.
“Banks make a ton of money off this mental quirk since they would have to pay
interest on the money if we left it in our savings accounts, where it
belongs.”
8. A bank has the right to pay itself back. Any fees or overdraft loans
that you owe can be deducted from your next deposit.
9. You probably don’t need to pay fees. You can get practically any fee
waived if you ask, especially if you’re a longtime customer.
10. Our tellers routinely press you into opening new accounts.Their jobs
depend on it. Banks hire “mystery” customers who secretly test whether a
teller is cross-selling services.
11. If the check bounces, you’re liable. Postdating a check rarely works.
With stacks of deposits to process, we look at account names, not dates.
12. Don’t blame us.It’s not our fault you can’t control your spending.
“The bank didn’t make you swipe your card or write a check that you didn’t
have money for,” says one teller in Akron, Ohio.
13. Small business loans are hard to get.Unless you’re Wolfgang Puck, our
loan officers have pretty much decided before you walk in that you’re not
getting a loan for your dream bistro. But they’ll let you apply for one
anyway. We’re not crazy about lending to nonprofits and houses of worship
either. We don’t want the bad publicity when we go after them.
14. Please don’t haul in plastic bags of loose change. We really don’t
have the time or manpower to count it. Ask for free wrappers and bring in
rolled coins next time.
15. Keep receipts for every ATM transaction. And please don’t feed cash
directly into the machine without first putting it into an envelope—unless
you know you’re at one of the ATMs that
accepts loose bills. (Yes, people actually do this.) Note: Several ATM’s only
take loose cash now.
16. Banks don’t always promote their highest interest rate accounts. Why
tell you about those when you’re already willing to sign up for an account
that pays less?
17. Read the fine print. Ask us to explain the terms, and get the details
in writing before you sign anything.
18. Beware of overdraft fees. Many banks will permit you to withdraw more
money than you have on deposit at the ATM, but they’ll charge you about $34
for the privilege.
19. A small thought about business loans: You have to admit that applying
for a business loan and calling yourself a “financial consultant” sounds a
little shady.
20. Free toasters are a thing of the past. Sorry, we can’t afford to give
them anymore to new customers. Business is brutal.
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