Rules for Guys, by women

Rules for Guys, by women

1. When crying occurs you caused it and should fix it.

Perfect time for a gift.

2. Watching Star Trek or any type of non-romance movie/ T.V.

show should also be rewarded in a gift.

3. The toilet seat prefers to be down. Gravity; any questions?

4. When we ask if we are fat, we are looking for a "NO I love you

just the way you are" answer.

5. Cindy Crawford cuts her hair why can't we?

6. We are not always thinking of you.

7. We are not always looking for the perfect gift... some gift is

better than no gift, and we realize it is the thought that counts.

8. Our Cats truly are special friends.

9. Shopping is not a sport, it's an adventure.

10. We value your opinion on our outfits and perhaps you should

ask for direction when you are dressing.

11. Wearing the same clothes because they are on top of the pile

is not acceptable.

12. If we had enough clothes or shoes then why are there so many

stores?

13. When we ask for something we want it then!! Don't wait for a

birthday, etc. you may for get what it is that we want.

14. If you cant be expected to hit the toilet, we can't be expected to

find the oil.
15. When the lights come on in the car, we let you know when we get

around to it.

16. Three pairs of shoes in not a selection, its a crisis!

17. Boots, old tennis shoes, and grass shoes are not adequate shoe

choices.

18. We don't believe you when you say you'll be right home.

19. Yes and No are not answers, you are not on trial and we are not your

attorney.

20. We remember what you say regardless of how long its been. Why can't

you?

21. Saying what you think we want to hear gets you in more trouble! Stop

while you are ahead.

22. There are no good sports.

23. Why can't you ask for directions?

24. Why can't you follow directions?

25. How can we be expected to tell you about our day in just 30 seconds

when it took all day to happen?

26. You too can order Pizza.

27. Chinese Food is a meal.

28. Chips and Dip are NOT a meal.

29. Why don't you know all of these rules?

The female always makes the rules.

The rules are subject to change at any time without prior notification.

No male can possibly know all the rules.

If the female suspects the MALE know all the rules, she must immediately

change some or all of the rules.

The female is never wrong. If the female is wrong, it is due to a misunderstanding

which was a result of something the male did or said wrong.

The male must apologize immediately for causing said misunderstanding.

The female may change her mind at any time. The male must never change his mind

without the express written consent of the female.

The female has every right to be angry or upset at any time. The male must remain

calm at all times unless the female wants him to be angry or upset.

The female must, under no circumstances, let the male know whether or not she

wants him to be angry and/or upset.

The male is expected to mind read at all times. Any attempt to document the rules

could result in bodily harm.

If the female has PMS, all the rules are null and void.

The female is ready when she is ready. The male must be ready at all time.

The male who doesn't abide by the rules can't take the heat, lacks backbone, and is

a wimp. 

~Author is Unknown, but I bet it's a woman.

Dwell in possibility.  ~ Emily Dickinson