Thursday, November 8, 2012

Military Absentee Ballots Delivered One Day Late, Would Have Swung Election For Romney

Military Absentee Ballots Delivered One Day Late, Would Have Swung Election For Romney

WASHINGTON, DC – Sources confirmed today that hundreds of thousands of military absentee ballots were delivered hours after the deadline for them to be counted, with preliminary counts showing that they would have overturned the vote in several states and brought a victory for Governor Mitt Romney.
Officials say the ballots were delivered late due to problems within the military mail system. Tracking invoices show the ballots sat in a warehouse for a month, then they were accidentally labeled as ammunition and shipped to Afghanistan. At Camp Dwyer, Marine Sergeant John Davis signed for them and was surprised at the contents.

“I told Gunny we got a bunch of ballots instead of ammo,” Davis told investigators earlier today.  “He told me to file a report of improper delivery and that the chain of command would take care of it.  We didn’t hear anything for three weeks.  While we were waiting we came under fire so we dumped a bunch of them in the Hescoes.  We didn’t dig those ones back out.”
After military officials realized the initial error, the ballots were then sent back to the U.S. but suffered a series of setbacks.
Twelve boxes of ballots were dropped overboard during delivery to the USS Kearsarge (LHD-3) in the Persian Gulf, then while the ship sailed to Bahrain, postal clerks allegedly pocketed whatever ballots they wanted.
The remaining absentee ballots were loaded onto a C-130, but the flight was delayed until November 1st so the crew could get tax free pay for the month.  Once the ballots arrived stateside they were promptly mailed to each state’s counting facility, reaching their final destination on November 7th.
“It’s a shame,” Rear Admiral John Dawes said when asked for comment.  “I expected a delay so I ordered that everyone cast their votes eight months ago. It’s really unfortunate that our mail system failed us and directly affected the course of history.”
Upon hearing the news, angry Republicans have begun a demand for a recount, but most military absentee voters have shrugged off the news, with many wondering whether the care packages their families sent six months ago were ever going to show up.


  1. What can you say about this DISGUSTING travesty, except that NOBODY, either military or either party, wanted the military votes. I hope the military men REMEMBER who is to blame for this when those SAME OFFICIALS WHO DENIED THEM THEIR VOTE asked them to fire on their fellow Americans.

  2. Problems with the military mail system? How convenient. Looks like the BS is beginning to stack up, but no matter, the sheeple don't know any different.

  3. Sorry, I call BS on this miserable excuse. If this did happen it was intentional.

  4. LOL! This came from the Duffle Blog which is a parody site with faux news.

    Here's their front page that explains that they're a spoof site and their news isn't true.

  5. It is BS. The duffelblog is like the Onion for military. Check the about page at the duffelblog if you dummies don't believe me.

  6. You think the returning vets from Vietnam were disfranchised (and rightfully so the way they were treated when they came home to a divided nation).... These patriotic boys are not even home yet and they have been sent this notice loud and clear. Heads should roll over this but after what happened in Benghazi... who thinks they will give it more than one news cycle at best. My Dad was 82nd Airborne and is rolling in his grave... And I am ashamed of us all for not prosecuting this until we have real answers vs. this BS. To my dad, all I can do is hang my head and ask for his forgiveness.

    1. It is a satire website. Not true. False. I'm sorry you are so angry, but the military votes were counted. The blog is a funny website meant to entertain military guys/gals. IT IS NOT A NEWS SITE!