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AN ACTUAL
CRAIG'S LIST PERSONALS AD
To the Guy Who Tried
to Mug Me in Downtown Savannah night before last.
Date: 2011-11-27,
1:43 am. E.S.T.
I was the guy wearing
the black Burberry jacket that you demanded that I hand over shortly
after you pulled the knife on me and my girlfriend, threatening our
lives. You also asked for my girlfriend's purse and earrings. I can only
hope that you somehow come across this rather important message.
First, I'd like to
apologize for your embarrassment. I didn't expect you to actually
crap in your pants when I drew my pistol after you took my
jacket. The evening was not that cold, and I was wearing the jacket
for a reason... my girlfriend was happy that I just returned safely from
my 2nd tour as a Combat Marine in Afghanistan .. She had just bought me
that Kimber Custom Model 1911 .45 ACP pistol for my birthday, and we had
picked up a shoulder holster for it that very evening. Obviously you
agree that it is a very intimidating weapon when pointed at your head ...
isn't it?!
I know it probably
wasn't fun walking back to wherever you'd come from with crap in your
pants. I'm sure it was even worse walking bare-footed since I made you
leave your shoes, cell phone and wallet with me. (That prevented you from
calling or running to your buddies to come help mug us again).
After I called your
mother, or "Momma" as you had her listed in your cell, I
explained the entire episode of what you'd done. Then I went and filled
up my gas tank as well as those of four other people in the gas station
on your credit card. The guy with the big motor home took 153 gallons and
was extremely grateful!
I gave your shoes to
a homeless guy outside Vinnie Van Go Go's along with all the cash in your
wallet. [That made his day!]
I then threw your
wallet into the big pink "pimp mobile" that was parked at the
curb .. after I broke the
windshield and side window and keyed the entire driver's side of the
car. Earlier, I managed to get in two threatening phone calls to
the DA's office and one to the FBI, while mentioning
President Obama as my possible target. The FBI guy seemed really
intense and we had a nice long chat (I guess while he traced your number
etc.)
In a way, perhaps I
should apologize for not killing you ... but I feel this type of
retribution is a far more appropriate punishment for your threatened
crime. I wish you well as you try to sort through some of these rather
immediate pressing issues, and can only hope that you have the
opportunity to reflect upon and perhaps reconsider the career path you've
chosen to pursue in life. Remember, next time you might not be so lucky.
Have a good day!
Thoughtfully yours,
Semper fi,
Alex
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3 comments:
the robber was a vet who had no food and you have enough to buy custom guns,the pink caddy is my uncles he is a korea vet and is disabled from shrapnel and it is his hobby pride and only joy, thank you so much.
Talk about stirring up the so-called "advantages" of meanness, hate, and revenge... We don't want that making the world go 'round.
3D promoting propaganda.
I do not believe your response A vet would not crap on him self as well as the other stuff you wrote
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