HUMOR FROM BOB HOPE - FROM ERASMUS OF AMERICA - SEPT. 25, 2013

HUMOR FROM BOB HOPE - FROM ERASMUS OF AMERICA - SEPT. 25, 2013

     Because America is in a mess, I have had to release many serious reports on the true national situation in America. However, it is nice to sometimes have a break with humor and look at the lighter side of life. Now if Bob Hope had been born in Kenya rather than England, then he could have been elected President of America too! After all, they used to say that he was popular enough to be elected President of America, but since not born in America, he could not run for President of America. But then again folks, that was under the old U.S. Constitution, not the new U.S. Constitution now in power due to the revisionist U.S. Corporation which replaced the legal U.S. Republic once the power elite figured out how to replace the original U.S. Republic and get away with it without going to prison! However, if the American people decide to enforce the U.S. Constitution and U.S. Bill of Rights as national law again, then they can arrest those who conspired and overthrew the legal government from within and charge them with high treason!

    BOB HOPE ON TURNING 70: "I still chase women, but only downhill!"

       ON HIS EARLY FAILURES: "I would not have had anything to eat if it wasn't for the stuff the audience threw at me!" 

     ON GOING TO HEAVEN: "I've done benefits for ALL religions. I'd hate to blow the hereafter on a technicality!"

     ON TURNING 80: "That's the time of your life when even your birthday suit needs pressing!"

     ON TURNING 90: "You know you're getting old when the candles cost more than the cake!"

     ON TURNING 100: "I don't feel old. In fact, I don't feel anything until noon. Then it's time for my nap!"

     ON GIVING UP HIS EARLY CAREER BOXING: "I ruined my hands in the ring. The referee kept stepping on them!"

     ON NEVER WINNING AN OSCAR: "Welcome to the Academy Awards or, as it's called at my home, 'Passover!'"

     ON GOLF: "Golf is my profession. Show business is just to pay the green fees!"

     ON PRESIDENTS: 'I have performed for 12 presidents and entertained only six!"

     ON WHY HE CHOSE SHOWBIZ FOR HIS CAREER: "When I was born, the doctor said to my mother, Congratulations, you have an eight pound ham!"

     ON RECEIVING THE CONGRESSIONAL GOLD MEDAL: "I feel very humble, but I think I have the strength of character to fight it!"

     ON HIS FAMILY'S EARLY POVERTY: "Four of us slept in the one bed. When it got cold, mother threw on another brother!"

     ON HIS SIX BROTHERS: "That's how I learned to dance. Waiting for the bathroom!"

     MORE COMMENTS OF BOB HOPE:

    

     "I didn't like my beard at first. Then it grew on me."

     "Did you hear about the cross eyed teacher who lost her job because she couldn't control her pupils?"

     "I wondered why the baseball was getting bigger. Then it hit me!"

      "Broken pencils are pointless!"

     "What do you call a dinosaur with an extensive vocabulary? A thesarus!"

     "England has no kidney bank, but it does have a Liverpool!"

      "I used to be a banker, but then I lost interest."

     "I dropped out of communism class because of lousy Marx."

     "All the toilets in New York's police stations have been stolen. Police have nothing to go on!"

     "I got a job at a bakery because I kneaded dough!"

      "Velcro- what a rip off!"

      "Cartoonist found dead in home. Details are sketchy!"

      "Venison for dinner." Oh deer!"

      "Earthquake in Washington obviously government's fault!"

      "I used to think I was indecisive, but now I am not so sure!"

     And changing humorists we have Will Rogers, "We have the best government that money can buy!"

     "And you want to know when a politician is lying to you? When he opens his mouth!" - Washington, D.C. Proverb.

     And folks come to Wash., D.C. which is the example how to run your cities in America. As it has been affectionately known by many who live there, "Dodge City on the Potomac!" Old Dodge City of the West was known for its violence and dangerous to live there!

      And remember Wash., D.C. which tries to hide the real criminal leaders there from legal prosecution, its pearl of wisdom to follow is: "It is illegal to get caught!" And following this pearl of wisdom is its application of this policy which is "Do not leave a paper trail of money which traces to you being paid off in government to work for secret interests and secret policies." And to hide when politicians pay off those who financially backed them into office include passing massive bills of alleged law. Knowing no one will ever read massive volumes of a claimed bill passed into law, you will often find the contracts being awarded to those same interests who financed that politician into office.

       And to Wash., D.C., the biggest joke they have ever heard in federal circles is the quote of Thomas Jefferson: "The entire art of government consists in being honest!" And I have heard reports of how even judges get secretly paid off for judgments arranged in advance, but of course, the sources reporting on judges being secretly paid off must be jokes and not serious? Right or not?!!

      If you want, feel free to pass this report on funny humor and serious humor on to others.

     By the way, we have colloidal silver generators offered now on our website. In case our boys in Obamacare try to give us vaccines loaded with the disease such as MERS-CoV they are supposed to protect us against, colloidal silver might save your life from infection in that case. Those doing this might think this a funny joke to infect the people, but we do not think this funny. In 2012 about half of those infected with this virus in Saudi Arabia then died from this. We have no cases of this Middle East disease in America now, but it has been internet rumored ordered to have this vaccine mass ready for America by Oct. 1, 2013. Should we ask the following question as an implied joke, "What are they planning for America that we don't know about now?"  After all, apparently CDC did buy $ 11 million in antibiotics for some reason or another.

     We also have on our website the report on "Building Mega Farms On Wasteland" which is our revolutionary plan using proven tactics of farming to mass increase food production and cheaply in America and across the world. This would produce high quality food without use of GMO type seeds and GMO harvests of food. And a miniature version of this revolutionary farming system using principles of God  given in nature could enable you to even raise food in your own house or even apartment if food got threatened in supply in America.  Also, we have the report on a system already tested on a way to produce electricity basically for free once the system is built and much better than solar energy sun panels which work based upon free solar energy, but this would make solar panels obsolete and solar panels many times more costly than this system already tested and people reporting that it works. Our report on this is a free bonus for now for anyone putting $50 or more into our Omni Law Loan Program on our website and designed to finance the passage of the proposed Omni Law which also is listed on our website and explained how it restores control of the government to the people and helps to skyrocket the American economy. As one business source explained to me yesterday, he has given up on America and wants to establish any future businesses abroad as Wash., D.C. has nearly outlawed business in America by being so anti-free enterprise with its regulations, high taxes, and other obstacles designed to make free enterprise nearly illegal in America now.  Offer on free bonus report subject to withdrawal later on, but available for now. We have started to push this free bonus report on free electricity for your home and business with the theme "SLASH YOUR ELECTRIC BILLS!" We have already sent copies of this free bonus report across America and abroad!  

     Our national website is www.fastboomamericaneconomy.com  Our email is fastboomamericaneconomy.com@gmail.com  Our mailing address for those wanting to send in any orders by mail instead of through our website is NIFI, P.O. Box 1465, Seneca, SC 29679 . Make any checks, etc. out to NIFI and what the payment is for whether a product or else our loan programs to help finance the passage of the Omni Law in America. And we appreciate your email if possible with your order! And the special rewards and benefits with our loan program are listed on our website. 

     And we thank all those who have backed us from the start and all of you will be be blessed by us in many ways once we win as I anticipate we will on passage of the Omni Law, building of our Camelot Project, etc. You can look up our plans for this Camelot on our website and catch the vision of what we are planning to build for America!

      And the national newspaper to be established under the Omni Law is to see that you get the truth in case the dishonesty in too much of the news media continues in order to try and control the people through management of what news they are allowed to hear or else be censored from them. My tentative proposed name for this national newspaper will be "AMERICAN CIVIL TRIBUNE NEWSPAPER." Read the reasons for the Omni Law and you may well judge that this symbolically should be a good name for this newspaper we think should be founded under sponsorship of the Omni Law.

      Yours for God and Country, Erasmus of America (pen name for the leader who dares to speak the truth in a highly corrupt society created by Washington policy. Truth like a strong ripple in still water spreads and spreads until finally it can even cover the entire body of water if pushed hard enough.)