An 'airport ticket agent' offers some examples of why the US is
in so much trouble!
ABSOLUTELY HYSTERICAL.....
An 'airport ticket agent' offers some examples of why the
US is in so much trouble!
1. I had a New Hampshire Congresswoman (Carol
Shea-Porter) ask for an aisle seat so that her hair wouldn't get messed up by
being near the window. (On an airplane!)
2. I got a call from a Kansas Congressman's
(Moore) staffer (Howard Bauleke), who wanted to go to Cape Town. I
started to explain the length of the flight and the passport information, and
then he interrupted me with, "I'm not trying to make you look stupid, but
Cape Town is in Massachusetts ..."
Without trying to make him look stupid, I
calmly explained, "CapeCod is in Massachusetts, Cape Town is
in South Africa ..." His response --- click.
3. A senior Vermont Congressman (Bernie
Sanders) called, furious about a Florida package we did. I asked what was
wrong with the vacation in Orlando. He said he was expecting an
ocean-view room. I tried to explain that's not possible, since Orlando is
in the middle of the state.
He replied, "Don't lie to me! I
looked it up on the map, and Florida is a very THIN state!!" (OMG!)
4. I got a call from a lawmaker's wife
(Landra Reid) who asked, "Is it possible to see England from Canada
?"
I said, "No."
She said, "But they look so close on the
map." (OMG, again!)
5. An aide for a cabinet member (Janet
Napolitano) once called and asked if he could rent a car in Dallas. I
pulled up the reservation and noticed he only had a 1-hour layover in
Dallas. When I asked him why he wanted to rent a car, he replied, "I
heard Dallas was a big airport, and we will need a car to drive between gates
to save time." (Aghhhh!)
6. An Illinois Congresswoman (Jan Schakowsky)
called last week. She needed to know how it was possible that her flight from
Detroit left at 8:30 a.m. and got to Chicago at 8:33 a.m.
I explained that Michigan was an hour ahead
of Illinois, but she couldn't understand the concept of time zones.
Finally, I told her the plane went very fast, and she bought that. (Must be
blonde!)
7. A New York lawmaker, (Jerrold Nadler)
called and asked, "Do airlines put your physical description on your bag
so they know whose luggage belongs to whom?" I said, "No . . .
why do you ask?"
He replied, "Well, when I checked in
with the airline, they put a tag on my luggage that said (FAT), and I'm
overweight. I think that's very rude!"
After putting him on hold for a minute, while
I looked into it, (I was dying laughing), I came back and explained the city
code for Fresno, Ca. is (FAT - Fresno Air Terminal), and the airline was just
putting a destination tag on his luggage.
8. A Senator John Kerry aide (Lindsay Ross)
called to inquire about a trip package to Hawaii. After going over all
the cost info, she asked, "Would it be cheaper to fly to California and
then take the train to Hawaii?"
9. I just got off the phone with a freshman
Congressman, Bobby Bright from Ala. who asked, "How do I know which plane
to get on?"
I asked him what exactly he meant, to which
he replied, "I was told my flight number is 823, but none of these planes
have numbers on them."
10. Senator Dianne Feinstein called and said,
"I need to fly to Pepsi-Cola, Florida. Do I have to get on one of
those little computer planes?"
I asked if she meant fly to Pensacola and fly
on a commuter plane. She said, "Yeah, whatever, smarty!"
11. Mary Landrieu, La. Senator, called and
had a question about the documents she needed in order to fly to China.
After a lengthy discussion about passports, I reminded her that she needed a
visa. "Oh, no I don't. I've been to China many times and never had
to have one of those."
I double checked and sure enough, her stay
required a visa. When I told her this she said, "Look, I've been to
China four times and every time they have accepted my American Express!"
12. A New Jersey Congressman (John Adler)
called to make reservations, "I want to go from Chicago to Rhino, New
York."
I was at a loss for words. Finally, I
said, "Are you sure that's the name of the town?"
"Yes, what flights do you have?",
replied the man.
After some searching, I came back with,
"I'm sorry, sir, I've looked up every airport code in the country and
can't find a Rhino anywhere."
The man retorted, "Oh, don't be
silly! Everyone knows where it is. Check your map!"
So I scoured a map of the state of New York
and finally offered, "You don't mean Buffalo, do you?"
The reply? "Whatever! I knew
it was a big animal."
Now you know why the Government is in the
shape it's in!
Could ANYONE be this DUMB???
YES, THEY WALK AMONG US, ARE IN POLITICS, AND
THEY CONTINUE TO BE CLONED / CLOWNED.
I don't write it, I just offer it for your
consideration.
Like manure, you just gotta spread it around.
...............U N B E L I E V A B L E.....................
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