The "Politically Correct" Dukes of Hazard!

A good friend sent over the first one from the Dukes.  I tossed in a few that I had saved and am passing along for a laugh.  All PG or G.

Subject: The "Politically Correct" Dukes of Hazard! 

Yup, the good old US of A. Actually the good old USA was a hell of a lot better...

Larry The Cable Guy, Politically Correct Night Before Christmas

Larry The Cable Guy, Blue Collar TV Politically Correct Fairy Tales

Blue Collar TV, How Big is Your Deck?

A DEFINITION OF THE TERM “POLITICAL CORRECTNESS!”

For the last six odd years, almost all of the things I wanted to write or say, have been stymied by a recently coined term referred to as ‘POLITICAL CORRECTNESS!’  Although I consider myself rather fluent in the English language, that term was not in my vocabulary.  My curiosity got the best of me and I decided to do a little research and after two weeks of chasing fruitless leads, I found what I'd been looking for at the Truman Library and Museum in Independence Missouri.  An unnamed source there sent me copies of four telegrams that were between Harry Truman and Douglas MacArthur on the day before the actual signing of the Surrender Agreement.  The contents of those four telegrams below are exactly as received, not a word has been added or deleted!

(1) Tokyo,Japan 0800-September 1,1945

To: President Harry S Truman

From: General D A MacArthur

Tomorrow we meet with those yellow bellied bastards and sign the Surrender Documents, any last minute instructions!

(2) Washington, D C 1300-September 1, 1945

To: D A MacArthur

From: H S Truman

Congratulations, job well done, but you must tone down your obvious dislike of the Japanese when discussing the terms of the surrender with the press, because some of your remarks are fundamentally not politically correct!

(3) Tokyo, Japan 1630-September 1, 1945

To: H S Truman

From: D A MacArthur and C H Nimitz

Wilco Sir, but both Chester and I are somewhat confused, exactly what does the term politically correct mean?

(4) Washington, D C 2120-September 1, 1945

To: D A MacArthur/C H Nimitz

From: H S Truman

Political Correctness is a doctrine, recently fostered by a delusional, illogical minority and promoted by a sick mainstream media, which holds forth the proposition that it is entirely possible to pick up a piece of shit by clean end!

Now, with special thanks to my friends at the Truman Museum and Harry, you and I finally have a full understanding of what "POLITICAL CORRECTNESS" really means!  Allan

​

Due to the climate of political correctness now pervading America .... Kentuckians, Tennesseans and West Virginians will no longer be referred to as 'HILLBILLIES.'

You must now refer to them as
APPALACHIAN-AMERICANS.

And furthermore

HOW TO SPEAK ABOUT WOMEN AND BE POLITICALLY CORRECT:

1 She is not a 'BABE' or a 'CHICK' - She is a 'BREASTED AMERICAN.'

2. She is not 'EASY'

She is 'Horizontally Accessible.'

3. She is not a 'DUMB BLONDE'

She is a 'LIGHT-HAIRED DETOUR OFF THE INFORMATION SUPERHIGHWAY.'

4. She has not 'BEEN AROUND'

She is a 'PREVIOUSLY-ENJOYED COMPANION.'

5 She does not 'NAG' you

She becomes 'VERBALLY REPETITIVE.'

6. She is not a 'TWO-BIT HOOKER'

She is a 'LOW COST PROVIDER.'

HOW TO SPEAK ABOUT MEN AND BE POLITICALLY CORRECT:

1. He does not have a 'BEER GUT'

He has developed a 'LIQUID GRAIN STORAGE FACILITY.'

2. He is not a 'BAD DANCER'

He is 'OVERLY CAUCASIAN.'

3. He does not 'GET LOST ALL THE TIME'

He 'INVESTIGATES ALTERNATIVE DESTINATIONS..'

4. He is not 'BALDING'

He is in 'FOLLICLE REGRESSION.'

5. He does not act like a 'TOTAL ASS'

He develops a case of  'RECTAL-CRANIAL INVERSION.'

6. It’s not his 'CRACK' you see hanging out of his pants - It's 'REAR CLEAVAGE.'