March 28, 2013
BITTER SCALIA LEAVES U.S.
WASHINGTON (The Borowitz Report)—Justice Antonin Scalia dropped a bombshell on the Supreme Court today, announcing his decision to resign from the Court “effective immediately” and leave the United States forever.
Calling this week “by far the worst week of my life,” Justice Scalia lashed out at his fellow-Justices and the nation, saying, “I don’t want to live in a sick, sick country that thinks the way this country apparently thinks.”
Justice Scalia said that he had considered fleeing to Canada, “but they not only have gay marriage but also national health care, which is almost as evil.”
He said the fact that nations around the world recognizing same-sex marriage are “falling like deviant dominoes” would not deter him from leaving the United States: “There are plenty of other countries that still feel the way I do. I’ll move to Iran if I have to.”
Throwing off his robe in a dramatic gesture, Justice Scalia reserved his harshest parting shot for his fellow-Justices, screaming, “Damn you! Damn each and every one of you to hell! You call yourself judges? That’s a good one. You’re nothing but animals!”
Breathing heavily after his tirade, he turned to Justice Clarence Thomas and said, “Except you, Clarence. Are you coming with me?”
Justice Thomas said nothing in reply.
Photograph by Tim Sloan/AFP/Getty Images.
Read more: http://www.newyorker.com/online/blogs/borowitzreport/2013/03/bitter-scalia-leaves-us.html#ixzz2P3pwN720
5 comments:
Humorous piece - satire at it's best! ;-)
Hey 6:12 PM You are either a Nazi or Communist or a total DS....Perhaps we need a whole lot more of this kind of satire. Let me guess you are in your 20's and still in diapers.....
Kudos to Scalia for making a courageous stand. The fact is that this 'supreme court' is unlawful to begin with. It serves only the private corporation and its bosses that it was hired to work for. To make a stand against such treasonous and blood thirsty monsters takes a ton of guts. I pray that Scalia will be protected from any and all attempts to discredit or dispose of him. If only American would grow up, wake up and STAND IN UNITY AND DO SOMETHING TO TAKE BACK OUR COUNTRY. Message to 6:12 PM - before you open your mouth, carefully think about what you are revealing about yourself. Stupid is as stupid does. Get over being stupid guy. It's not flattering to you.
Anonymous 7:45
What else can you ask 6:12 if they are?
It is puzzling that someone makes a comment, stupid or intelligent and someone else pops on and says something like, you are stupid, you are scary, are you a communist, are you a muslim, you must be an obamatard, you are a beer drinking, cigarette smoking southerner, you are a bushite, I mean the list goes on and on with all these single definitions calling someone you don't know something as if the rest of us read it and said, 'you got that right'.
No you will never get it right?
What security are you missing that you have to project your 'idea' on to someone else.
Humorous piece doesn't sound like 'in your 20's and still in diapers'.
What do you need to feel more love from the rest of us that you feel separated from?
We love you. We care. Your projections are not us, but you are us, we are you.
Care Bears................ "Stare!"
Care Bear Cousins ........ "Call!"
You'll never guess my age, religious affiliation, social status, political status, residency, education level, family status, or more from the above, but you can know that I care that you feel the need to 'lock' someone into some predefined definition in order to deal with their comment.
You and any that do like you do.
We see you.
We are more than what is written or said.
Our potential is infinite.
Anon 7:45 pm
Thank you for your kind words. No, I am not a Communist or Nazi, and at 20 I was an officer in the jungles of Vietnam. As for the diapers comment, I started this journey in them - it remains to be seen if that is in my future.
If you had taken the time to do your homework, at the bottom of the article you will find it listed as:
SUPREME COURT; HUMOR
Peace brothers
Post a Comment