by ERIN PIZZEY
Just recently a 'battered woman,' for that is how she saw herself, came to me
for help. Her lover, who lived apart from her and her children, had beaten her
up badly and she was forced to go to the hospital. He then took her back to her
own house and stayed with her in order to look after her while her wounds
healed.
'You are not a battered woman,' I said with a sigh. I define a battered woman
as a woman who is a genuine victim of her partner's violence. 'You are a
violence-prone woman, a victim of your own need for violence.' I sighed because
those two sentences uttered twenty-five years ago in my early work at Chiswick
caused me to be hated and despised. I became the nation's conscience. I dared
to say publicly that women can be as violent as men and that women were a great
deal more psychologically violent than men. In this woman's case we have a
great deal of work to do and he needs to find himself a good therapist.
In 1971, inspired by the promise of women journalists and other
media-manipulators, I decided to join the newly founded Women's Movement.
'Sisterhood is powerful' they chanted. 'Sisters unite, no more competing, women
helping women.' It all sounded too good to be true. My first meeting filled me
with doubts. It was held in a very middle-class home in Chiswick and I gazed at
the Mao posters on the wall of the drawing-room. When asked why I was there by
the hostess, I replied that my husband was a television reporter and was very
rarely home and I felt lonely and isolated with my two children. 'Your problem
is not your isolation but your husband. He oppresses you and he is a
capitalist.' I pointed out that she too had a mortgage so she therefore was a
capitalist, and far from oppressing me my husband was baby-sitting so that I
could attend this meeting. Her husband was out at a Union meeting organizing
the Brentford Biscuit factory with the help of his degree in Political Science,
to prepare for the forthcoming revolution.
What the woman didn't know, was that I was the daughter of a diplomat. I was
born in China, and traveled the world with my father. I also-worked in the
Foreign Office and was well aware of the atrocities both in Russia and in
China. Then over cups of tea, we were assured that women were a minority
group. I pointed out that women made up fifty-two per cent of the world's
population. I was given Mao's little red book and SHREW magazine. I
took it home and was horrified at the hatred it spewed against men.
I decided that this organization needed looking at. With both children in
school and time on my hands I went to work for The Women's Liberation Workshop
in Shaftsbury Avenue. I witnessed the women working there tearing open letters
and pocketing the three pounds ten shillings that desperate women were sending
in to join the movement. I tried to answer as many of the letters as I could.
Some of that money went into buying explosives.
Terrorists in the Women's Movement blew up the BBC van outside the Miss World
Contest and the top off the Post office tower. I called in the police. All
this rubbish and rhetoric was to culminate in the up-rising of the 'working
classes' and the death of Capitalism and the destruction of all men. Needless to
say there were virtually no working class women in this movement. Most of the
revolution was fought around middle class dinner tables in grisly Islington.
By now I was very firmly 'the enemy.' Men, at this point, took the whole
movement as a joke but it was no joke, as many homeless men deprived of their
children will tell you. Savaged by feminist lawyers and therapists, men have
routinely been deprived of their homes, their children and their incomes.
I knew that I wanted to fulfill my original dream. Women working with women
in co-operation with men. The idea that we should work with men was anathema to
these women. The Women's Movement was dominated by the Radical Separatist
Movement. They not only hated men but heterosexual women as well. I saw
through their very hidden agenda. I stood on platforms saying that if I had to
pay three pounds ten shillings, meet in cells and call my friends comrade, then
they were asking me to join the Communist Party, which was fine, but don't lie.
Don't collect money under false pretenses. I had plenty of good Communist
friends, I wanted a movement that truly represented women. Not tired
hacked-to-death male politics.
The early collective meetings and conferences involved hundreds of women,
mostly middle-class women bored with their life-styles and they were
terrifying. Anyone brought up in a girls' boarding school as I was, knows how
violent and manipulative women can be. The bullying in the collectives was
unabated. No lipstick, no high heels, no deodorant, I broke all the rules.
'Why do you wear men's suits and ties,' I asked. 'if you so hate men?' Silly
question I suppose. 'We are wearing the symbol of our oppression,' was the
humorless reply.
By now I realized through reading the Women's Movement literature that those
thousands of women working in all caring fields, the journalists, the television
makers, were determined to destroy family life in England. [See
Communist Manifesto —WHS] 'Make the personal political,' was one of
their many banners. So thousands of violent and very disturbed women attacked
normal happily married women and our traditional way of life. Secret meetings
were held (everything was done in secret) and I received a letter '.....and the
collective decided that until the whole matter is sorted out, and you have given
a statement of this position to a woman-lawyer, or someone in the N.C.C.L., you
should no longer work in the office or attend meetings of any of the
collectives.'
Profoundly depressed by my experiences in the movement, I went off to do what
I always believed would liberate women. A place to gather and to work together
in co-operation with men.
Soon beaten and battered women with their children were coming to me for
help. There was no literature on battered women, so I wrote 'Scream Quietly Or
The Neighbors Will Hear.' I was immediately in trouble because the book was not
'politically correct,' it discussed family violence and I refused to let the
Managing Director politicize my book. By now I was giving the figure of 62
women out of the first hundred women who came to the refuge were as violent or
more violent than the men they left. Also many were prostitutes taking refuge
from their violent pimps. This infuriated the Women's Movement. I knew that as
soon as I attracted publicity and funding, the Women's Movement which by now
attracted neither, would be beating on my door. When I called a small
conference to help other groups get started, several hundred women with
feminists and radical separatist feminists invaded my conference. They started
their usual bogus rubbish trying to appeal to my mothers, making much use of the
phrase 'working classes.' My mothers were not impressed. One of my closest
friends at Chiswick said 'there isn't a working class woman amongst you.'
Another slightly bolder yelled 'go home and get your dildoes.' We left them to
battle it out by themselves. They then formed The National Women's Aid
Federation.
This delighted my many enemies at The Home Office and The Department Of
Social Security. My chief enemy at my first meeting was a member of the
sisterhood. 'How will you pay for your refuge?' she sniffed. 'I shall pray,' I
said. I did all the time and it was our prayers that sustained Chiswick for all
those years. The Federation used all their contacts in the media (many of them
were journalists) to rubbish me and my work. By now I was writing at home at
night. They came to interview me about my books but the books were never
discussed, only how fat I was or how belligerent I was.
I recently asked The Home Office for their latest report and I was not
surprised to see that my name and 'Scream Quietly,' the first book in the world
on wife battering was missing. I knew from other writers that editors in the
publishing world of London were themselves
radical feminists and it was their habit to dictate their themes to
desperate writers, who were then coerced into writing the editor's book, knowing
that should they disobey, they would not be published. My brother Danny always
wrote what he was told to write. He complained down the telephone to me and
finally, just before he died, he said bitterly 'I have no contracts and no film
deals in sight.' He rewrote the four hundred page synopsis for his book four
times to suit his agent and his publishers.
Throughout all the fighting I kept preaching that family life was and always
will be the foundation of any civilization. Destroy the family and you destroy
the country. I warned that of the violent women with their children coming to
me, virtually none used contraception. My mothers had an average of 5.1
children, meanwhile non-violent families had a 2.5 average. I wrote reports, I
drafted memos, all to no avail. Nobody wanted to hear what I had to say. In
the back of 'Scream Quietly' I listed all the agencies that had failed my
families. I wrote that I was not seeing social workers, I was seeing political
activists with social work degrees. The same went for teachers, and probation
officers, editors of books and magazines. Like a giant cancer this movement dug
its crabs legs into anywhere they could wield their power.
Many women, assisted by weak men, sought to destroy me and my work and I knew
that finally having fought court cases that involved disobeying judge's orders
to save children's lives, I knew I would be ousted from my own refuge. A few
men bravely tried to make their voices heard, realizing the dangers. They too
were excoriated by both men and women. Businessmen in the media, managing
directors of publishing houses, never understood that their editors were lying
to them. Playing the numbers game. 'Who do you think you are?' screamed one
feminist editor. 'I must be somebody,' I replied. 'After all I'm in Debrett's
and Who's Who. You're nobody in publishing.' Another said...'Why can't you
write the sort of books you know I like, Erin...... books about women loving
women?' 'I can't,' I replied. 'I'm a heterosexual writer and all my books
celebrate family life.'
Because men looked upon the refuge movement as a 'woman's issue', newspapers
sent women journalists to attack me. I addressed a conference of
radical feminists and asked them why, when I respected their right to
practice their politics and define their own sexuality they denied me my rights
to my heterosexuality, my right to live and work to preserve family life and to
enjoy being at home with my family. That I think being a mother and a
grandmother has given me more joy than any other achievement. I was screamed
down and met with utter hostility.
When I published 'Prone
to Violence', a book about my work with violent women and the children in
the refuge, I was picketed by hundreds of banner-waving women. 'All men are
bastards!' read some of the banners. 'All men are rapists!' shrieked another.
'If those banners said Jews or black people, you would have arrested those
women,' I told the policeman who had come to say that I had to have a police
escort all around England for the book tour.
In due course, I lost the refuge but a carefully orchestrated campaigning the
press never allowed the people of England to know that I was pushed into exile.
The newspapers made much of my defection and I was helpless. My crime was to
fight for family life and values. A few months ago The Sunday Times sent a
reporter to find out why I was waitressing in a bar in exchange for food. 'There
seems to have been a conspiracy,' the reporter wrote. I knew that remainder
notices would soon be forthcoming and now my back list is remaindered. Thank
goodness my books are selling all over the world including sales to Russia. I
own nothing but my four dogs and my cat and I work internationally for peace in
the family.
http://www.fathersforlife.org/pizzey/destrctn.htm
Sunday, March 15, 2015
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